Self Awareness

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Gabrielle smiling in profile

I am in a strange mood today.  There should be nothing unusual there since, officially, I suffer from a 'mood disorder' and I guess that should mean I experience 'strange' moods on a regular basis.

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Gabrielle's worried stressed eyes

Hello! Your friendly neighbourhood psychotic here :0). I am still feeling the aftershock of last Sunday's PE. In this case, I mean feeling psychologically and emotionally, more than feeling physically.

What am I feeling? Quite a powerful mixture:

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Gabrielle looking surprised facing forward

I have just read an Email from an old coaching friend of mine.  When I say 'old', I don't mean she is elderly - I mean she has known me for a long time :0).

She picked up on a couple of things I have previously written in my blog, "joining the dots" as she so cleverly put it:

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Gabrielle underneath a rain co

Why do I always find it so difficult to cry when I feel very low? What is stopping me from letting the tears flow?

As I let myself ponder these questions, a few thoughts are making their appearance thus:

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Gabrielle carrying the world on her back

In the intellectual and emotional intelligence stakes, I consider myself to be reasonably well equipped.  In the physical intelligence department, I am a dullard, an ignoramus, a Physical Idiot.

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Gabrielle's face melting

For years, people around me have told me that I see the good in others.  I have occasionally had to defend myself against any implied accusation of naivety by saying that I am not blind to all the evil in the world - it's just that I have chosen to focus my gaze on all the good because giving anything our attention also gives it energy and I'd rather be feeding the good stuff.  All well and good.

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Gabrielle typing at her computer

My husband Richard got this blog of mine ready technically over one month ago. He has gone to great lengths to explain to me that the wonderful thing about a blog is that you don't have to do anything at any particular time - you just contribute to your blog when you feel like it.  NO PRESSURE!  He repeated it several times to make sure I got it - and I did get it:  No Pressure. Got that.

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