Today I had one of my regular meetings with my psychiatrist. I had made a big effort and showed up washed, dressed, coiffed and made-up. She said I looked very nice. Lovely to hear.>>> read more
This year (2013) has been tough. I never properly came out of my yearly downturn. I have dragged myself as best I could but I mut admit that I am royally fed-up with it all.
A new antidepressant (Escitalopram) and a new anti-psychotic (Abilify) seemed to work for a while. My energy lifted - in fact it lifted a bit too much - and I calmed down - in fact I calmed down a bit too much.>>> read more
(I have been wanting to write what follows for days but my brain is refusing to cooperate fully. All the ideas are in my head and I know what I WANT to write but I CAN'T. Putting out on paper or keyboard what is in my head is still extremely difficult. I feel as if the connection between my brain and my hands is severed.... This frustrates me more than I can say.)>>> read more
I am well aware there is a movement going on against psychotropic medication - i.e. medication used to alleviate the symptoms of psychiatric conditions such as bipolar disorder. I understand where those people are coming from. Frankly I am not particularly enamoured of pharmaceutical companies and the thought of having to take medication for the rest of my life doesn't thrill me either. And yet ...>>> read more
I haven't written for a long time. There are three reasons for this long silence of mine and - highly unusually for me - they have little to do with my state of health. I am pretty chuffed about that!>>> read more
I have discovered this during my long illness: I like my own company. I like being with me. I am OK to be with.
This may seem obvious to some - overstated to others - but to me it is still a source of joyous surprise.>>> read more
There are days when going around in circles actually feels like fun, and today has been one of them. When I feel terrible I am amazed at how awful I can feel but the reverse is also true: when I feel good I am amazed at how easy life suddenly seems.>>> read more
Facebook is a wonderful thing: postings go from the ridiculous to the sublime and back again. Who would have thought that this kind of internet social network could contribute to our development as a human being, as well of course as providing us with a few good laughs...>>> read more