Depression

I have been thinking for a while about something that makes me uncomfortable. As I was getting ready to go up the town for my eye test today, it came sharply into focus (pun unintended): how well dare I look?....

A lot is said and written about living Life in the Fast Lane. I have lost count of the number of articles I have seen in magazines (during my many waiting hours in medical surgeries) that warn us about the dangers of fast living or the excitement of of living a fast life. Let me tell you this - there doesn't feel like there is much danger and even less excitement for me at the moment. I am definitely Living Life in the Slow Lane.

A while back, I described the effect my treatment has had to date as follows:

One evening whilst I was still on my 'holding' medication (the tranquilising stuff), my hubby taught me how to tag my blog entries. Tagging helps readers find entries under headings that are of particular interest to them. For example, some of my tags are:

I have been quiet these past few days because writing has been beyond my capacity. Another 'interesting' time was had by my hubby and me....

I have been looking at blogs/social sites that are dedicated to depression to see what others write about it and to learn from them.

For most of those blogs/social sites, I read repetitive entries from the same people over and over again and I am ready to go and slash my wrists. My energy collapses and I feel 'depressed' in the every day sense of the word.

My friend JC suggested that I use an old army 'trick' to give me a visual representation of the fluctuations I go through - in his soldiering days, JC was used to seeing troops use such a visual representation known as The Readiness Wheel. 

The last  few days can be viewed as a total disaster or as a bit of a joke. It depends on how I am able to think and feel about it.

I leave you to judge for yourself.

Oh boy... the last few days have been tough. A continuing cycle of exhaustion and agitation, constant tearfulness, discouragement, desolation - in short, everything bi-polarism has to offer in one concentrated package!