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Following the devastation caused by the recent earthquake in Italy, I have been wondering and worrying too.

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Recently, I received the opportunity to participate in a Mental Health Directorate public Consultation. For the sake of all Mental Health Services users, I thought it was important for me to make my comments public.

This is what I wrote:

Dear Ms xxxxxxxxx,

Thank you for sending me a copy of the Consultation papers for the Redesign of Mental Outreach and Day Services. I appreciate the opportunity to comment.

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I am not very energetic today. It's a lovely day and I have managed to get washed, dressed, coifed and made-up in time for a working pub lunch with my Techno Hubby but that's about it. I am struggling to keep my eyes open and it is not even 6.00pm yet! 

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Here I am sitting at my computer, wrestling with the idea that I should have a shower and I should get dressed. As they say in the coaching world, all this shoulding all over myself isn't helping one bit.

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Oh Boy! It's one of THOSE days....

I amaze myself. I drive myself up the wall, I frustrate myself, and I occasionally despair of myself, but I do amaze myself. How can my energy fluctuate from near total collapse to near blow-up with such ease and such regularity? I can't quite believe it and it is happening to me so what others would make of it, I don't know.

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I am feeling frustrated with myself. I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I don't seem to be doing anything. Life feels aimless and pointless. I find these feelings difficult to bear. I find myself difficult to put up with. In truth, I get on my own nerves.....

So, where do I go from here and what do I do now? I have no idea and it drives me crazy!

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For years, when people spoke of depression or moods, I felt like they were speaking a totally different language from mine.

For them, feeling depressed was feeling:

  • Blah or blue
  • Unenthusiastic
  • Apathetic
  • Disinterested
  • Discouraged

Fo me, feeling depressed was feeling:

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