What if we were the only sane ones?!?

As I was speaking to a mental health WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) Group last week, I asked this cheeky question: what if we - the mentally ill - were in fact the only sane people on this psycho planet? Everybody laughed and yet I could tell that my little joke may have been more than a pathetic humourous attempt on my part. 

A week later, I cannot shake off my own question - especially when I watch television or read the front pages of magazines as I walk past them in shops. I may be nuts but very little of what I see everywhere makes any sense to me. I often get the feeling that I am an alien in my own world. The worst of it is that this is not a new feeling for me: I have ALWAYS felt this way.

I then wonder: is my feeling of 'oddness' a reflection of my genetic predisposition to mental illness or is it a manifestation of something ...  I am tempted to say 'something spiritual', and if it is the latter, am I showing my 'spiritual discomfort' as a mental illness? In truth I am not entirely sure and - if I am totally honest here - I recognise that such introspection runs the risk of sending me disappearing where the sun don't shine!

It is a good question though because I have noticed that the people I meet in mental health groups tend to be 'sensitive' souls. By sensitive I don't just mean fragile (although they are probably that) but also sophisticated in a way a piece of equipment can be sophisticated. It seems to me they can see/hear/feel things that others don't. They seem to worry about the bigger things in life as opposed to concerning themselves with who is going to win X Factor or what celebrities are up to in the jungle and out of it. It is as if there was a disconnect between their world and the world as others know it. I can't help wondering whether that 'disconnect' isn't manifesting as a mental illness because their minds and bodies don't know where else to put it.

It would be easy for me to observe myself and other mental health patients and conclude that we are somehow 'superior' to lesser mortals. This would be a HUGE mistake because it would simply be the reverse side of the 'lesser people' label that is still too often applied to us. We do however seem to be somewhat 'different'. The next question must then be this: does our society use this 'difference' to create a mental apartheid or does it use it to contribute to the world we live in? So far, our society seems to have favoured segregation even if integration is a favourite buzz word. My sense is that we could contribute a lot more than our society allows and enables us to do.

I have often been told that I think too much. Well, I'd better do a lot more thinking if I want to come up with an alternative employment model to those already in place. Forget flexi-time - how about maxi-time, to maximise people's opportunity to contribute?

I think the brain is firmly in back in my court :0)

'cheeky Question'

Good morning Gabrielle
Thank you for your latest Blog
What is wrong with your 'cheeky question'?  Absolutely NOTHING!
I have been saying for years to all sorts of people 'that I am the only SANE person in whatever company I am in.
'Because I know and have known for years that I AM A MAD PERSON, therefor with that knowledge, I MUST be the ONLY SANE one around'

Of course every one then looks to see if there is any real difference between themselves and this this 'SANE person'. Of course there is nothing on the surface, but deep down, I  know that there is a difference and, it is one that I am now and  have been able to live with.
Keep being just who you are
Love, JC
Show this to your 'WRAP' people and say to them that it is nothing new, and that this old fart has been there for almost too long. JC
'Him in Scarlet at Chelsea' 

You know what JC: being an

You know what JC: being an Old Fart like you is something I really aspire to :D xxxxxxxxxxx

in Sanity

Two things come to mind - one is to do with integrity in which people need to see how all things they are and do interrelate ... and the most important aspect of that is to understand, really understand, who they are with nothing hidden and to strive for wholeness in body, mind and spirit; and the other is that "no prophet is accepted in his own country" [Lk.4:24], in other words by those who think they know and are disturbed by what might throw them off [their own] course, even and especially if they suspect it is true.

   With every blessing ...

Thank you for that Mike. Your

Thank you for that Mike. Your Bible quote has really hit a note with me. xxxxxxxx

Senses working over time...

It's something (your question,) that many mentally ill people ponder. Sometimes I wonder if the reason why we seem so on the fringe is because we are over exposed to many of societies messages. I wonder if "normal" people have a screen that we lack that filters out so much of this world's information. When I was first diagnosed (I was first diagnosed with Major Depression but am BPII now,) my Pdoc said to me "I suggest that you stop reading the newspaper, stop watching the news on TV and in general avoid many topics that are upsetting as they would not help your depression." Ok, not in so many words but you get the picture. 

Many times I isolate myself not only because I have high anxiety when I'm experiencing symptoms but also so I don't shoot myself in the foot. This happens with depression or hypo-manias. For so long I felt completely embarrassed because I thought the world was watching and judging my every move. When I reason with my brain, which I find myself auto tuning according to mood, stability and environment, I have to take into account that my ideas are not always sensible. When I'm ill these thoughts can sometimes influence my decision making and my mood. It's a delicate balance that can be upset easily by one thing or a combination of factors in my life. It's tricky business and constant reality reconstruction. 


Thank you Anonymous

Oh boy do I understand what you are saying!

We can say EITHER that we lack a filter that protects us from the onslaught of the outside world OR that we are highly receptive and perceptive individuals who by their vary nature experience life powerfully, whether directly through their personal experience or indirectly through the media, etc.

I prefer the second explanation, not because it flatters my ego (far from it) but because it makes is easier for me to live with my condition if I think of myself in positive terms rather than in negative ones. It's a choice each one of us has to make for himself/herself.    xx

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