The Shower Test

When I feel as awful as I do at the moment, there is one thing I tolerate with great difficulty: my inability to have a shower. I hate this! My whole body feels like it is in revolt and it does get revolting after a couple of days...

Having a shower is one of the simple pleasures I usually enjoy (to the point where I often have two showers a day) but at the moment wild horses would not drag me to wash myself:

  • I hate getting dressed because I cannot stand the feeling of clothes on my skin. (It is so bad at the moment that I cannot wear a bra!)
  • I hate getting undressed because I hate the feeling of uncovering my skin
  • I hate stepping into the shower because water feels like needles on my skin
  • I hate towelling myself dry because it feels like I am rubbing 'raw' skin.

What the heck is that all about? And it ALWAYS happens when I feel bad. In fact, the first sign I am sliding down the greasy depression pole is my reluctance to step into the bathroom.

I also have a constant feeling that I desperately want to crawl out of my own body. It feels all wrong:

  • Too hot
  • Too cold
  • Too tight
  • Too itchy
  • Too bloated
  • Too .... I have no word for this one - it's a mixture of indigestion/nausea/pain/internal scream.

This is so AWFUL I call it my Body Madness. My body goes nuts on me. If I were paranoid I would think my body is out to kill me!

I suspect my brain is responsible for all that craziness somewhere along the line ... after all it is the command centre of the rest of me so it's got to be in on the act. If I ask myself  "what can I do to deal with this?" the only answer I get time and again is "grin and bear it. It will pass".

And so, I am doing my best to grin even if I find the whole thing unbearable. As a result, I look idiotic as well as desperate.

Aaarrrgh!!!  :D

Quick and Dirty Update ....

I am very proud (and VERY relieved) to tell you that following 30 minutes of repeating The Obama Mantra (Yes I can, Yes I can, Yes I can) I managed to have a shower at 4am this morning.  Yay!!!  :D

The Shower Test

I never understood why everyone loved getting a shower and to me they were like Chinese Water Torture. Thanks so much for putting this into such funny and relatable words.

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