The Power of Creating

I love being able to DO things. The last two days, I have done some cleaning, some recycling, some writing, some cooking and some taking care of animals on behalf of our neighbours who are away on holiday. I am so grateful when I feel the desire and have the energy to potter about here and there.

I often wonder how people cope who have lost the ability to do anything because of illness or accident. How frustrated must THEY feel! My own frustrations seem very small by comparison. Yet, I am a human being and not a human doing, so what is it about doing stuff that is so important to me?

As I pondered this question, I easily came up with a few superficial answers but something about them did not satisfy me. It's as if those facile answers were just blankets covering my core truth. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable, which is always a sign that I am heading in the right direction..... and guess what: I eventually arrived at two statements that are contradictory, if not mutually exclusive:

1. I don't really care about whether I am able to do anything or not
2. I really care about whether I am able to do anything or not.

I know I am prone to extremes (after all isn't it what Bi-Polar Disorder is all about!) but this is ridiculous... How can I possibly make sense of this?

Hmmm... It then occurred to me that I wasn't using the word 'care' to mean the same in 1. and 2. above:

• In 1., I mean that not being able to do anything frustrates me but it doesn't really affect my sense of self. I now have a profoundly anchored 'being' that has survived the volcanic eruptions and the Antartica of Bi-Polar Disorder. It exists way beyond any doing I might manage.
• In 2., I mean that doing things gives me pleasure because I take pleasure in creating. I may not be a human doing but I am a human creating. I have a profound sense that my desire to create is an extension and an expression of my Creator's own Creation. The challenge is for me to indeed create rather than mis-create during my time on this earth - or in other words, to generate love, compassion, understanding, patience, beauty, gentleness, etc, instead of judgement, resentment, jealousy, envy, humiliation, fear, etc, for others and for myself.

When I put it like that, I make perfect sense - to myself at least!

The one thing I do remember (and am not likely to forget)  is that creating cannot be rushed, stressed, botched, etc. Creating requires attention, heart and often patience. One thing for sure, over the last five years, I have learned to become patient.

No more doing ten things at once at the speed of light anymore. Multi-tasking might be a buzz word but it's no longer part of my vocabulary - I have replaced with my own version of mighty creating :0)