Deep Dragging Doom

Things aren't improving much and I am finding it hard.

I can't do anything and because I can't do anything I don't know what to do with myself.

Bi-Polar Land is the only place I know where someone can sleep for eighteen hours straight and wake up just as exhausted as before going to bed. It drives people who go trough it crazy and I am no exception. It is driving me round the bend.

And people think that those who have a mental illness are weak?! They have NO IDEA of the strength required just to keep going! No idea at all.

Not only do I feel shokingly awful but I am fed up with thinking/feeling/saying how dreadful I feel. I get bored with my own pain.

So I spend the few hours when I am not comatose distracting myself with little tasks that don't require much energy:

  • Watching TV (even though a lot of it just washes over me without my absorbing much of it)
  • Knitting little items such as teddy hats and socks (although I struggle to count my stitches up to 20!)
  • Keep in touch with my family and friends on Facebook.
  • Update my Bi-Polar Girl Facebook Page
  • Update my Bi-Polar Girl Twitter Page.

I live one day at a time, one hour at a time. Keeping hope alive isn't even on the table. Keeping me alive is enough...

I think I'll stop here because I have nothing else remotely interesting to say. It's just more of the same dark doom drudgery.

Deep clinical depression is no fun so I'll end up with a bit fat smile just to spite it   :D

*Hugs* Keep on working at

*Hugs* Keep on working at living that one hour at a time thing and hopefully things will get better soon. I follow you on Facebook and so much of what you say is so familiar. Your postings help me a lot and I bet they help others, too.. so even when you feel like you're not achieving much: you really are. Thank you xx

Thank you Sarah

What you have written has helped ME  :D

Much love and encoragement.

Gabrielle xx

Every time you blog something

Every time you blog something it turns out to be something that helps me feel just a little bit less alone - thank you for making the point about the strength needed to keep going and the frustration at being so utterly and completely CRAP.

Just to say I am so sorry you

Just to say I am so sorry you are down again and what you write helps us to understand our daughter's pain even more.  Although what we see gives us a some insight and I have always said I know she has to give more than 100% to keep going.

To all of you going through this my heart goes out to you and hope that a turning point is on the way for you Gabrielle.

I still thank you for those words of encouragement you gave me several months ago.  Our daughter's move to London was scary for us as she was so far away. 

She did have to go into Hospital and that turned out to be a terrible time just her seeking help.  In fact one hospital refused her and the police had to keep her in a cell until the morning.  She had done nothing wrong but was psychotic and was too vulnerable to be left on her own.

 BUT - the support she has had in London has been far, far superior to what she had when she had been living in 'Wonky' Wilsthire. 

The right support is so improtant isn't it for all of you?  You are all such very special people who do not deserve this daily battle. xxxxx


Thank you Anonymous

I am so glad to hear that your daughter is finally receiving the support she needs AND that YOU are receiving support too.

Don't worry about me. This is my life for now and it is what it is. Besides you have more than enough on your own plate!

I don't think any of us deserve this condition and when I say 'us' I mean ourwelves and our families. Sadly, pain is everywhere in this world  :0)

Much love and encouragement.

Gabrielle xxx


Thank you Tess

In truth, it has to be lived to be believed.

I have troiuble believing it and I am living it. You are living too and no doubt find it difficult to believe you can be so CRAP as you put it.

This condition defies logic :D

Much love and encuragement.

Gabrielle xxx

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.