Changing Change

Having just come back from a lovely pub lunch with my hubby, I was struck by a thought: change was something I had always made numerous assumptions about. This sudden 'revelation' led me to explore the change territory further.

This is what I had hitherto assumed about change:

  • Change is a transition from one state or situation to another. In order to become aware of that transition, by definition, I have had to be aware of the state/situation I started with and of the state/situation I ended up in.
  • Change is a transformation from one way of being/seeing/feeling/thinking/understanding etc into another way of being/seeing/feeling/thinking/understanding etc. Again, being aware of that transformation requires awareness of what was before and what came after.
  • Change is an evolution over time from one state/situation/way of being etc towards another state/situation/way of being etc.  Guess what: in order to become aware of that evolution, I have had to be aware of what things were like to start with and what things became eventually.

I cannot say that what I have written above is incorrect because common sense recognises that it is reasonable. What I am saying is that, up until this moment,  my understanding of change may well have been reasonably adequate and appropriate but it was not sufficient.

My three bullet points carry within them the word awareness. Awareness implies some form of clarity - and that's where I realised that there was much more to change than met the eye. 

This is what I have learnt from my recent experience living in the territory of bi-polar syndrome, severe clinical depression, or whatever else people want to call it: change does not depend on awareness or clarity: it also happens in the murky waters of blinding confusion when you have no idea where you are, where you have been and where you are going! That is both a disconcerting thought and a consoling one.  (Come to think of it, change is probably one of the few human experiences that manages to be both disconcerting and consoling at the same time).

It is a disconcerting thought because change becomes a journey from the unknown into the unknown via the bewildering. Scary stuff but true never the less.

It is a consoling thought because change becomes an unexpected gift, the ultimate surprise that we could not have anticipated and that we do not need to deserve. Magic stuff and very true too.

And there you have it: for me, change is so profound and so powerful, so frightening and yet so joyful, so serious and also so mischievous, that it can turn itself onto itself. Change can indeed be Changed :0)

Change response

Yes Gabrielle and often ALL THAT simultaneously!!



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