Changing Body/Changing Mind

Living in Bi-Polar Land is challenging. I know that. Yet, my condition never ceases to surprise me (that's the positive way of putting it) or to wrong-foot me (that's the less positive way of putting it). Just when I think I have finally arrived at some sort of stability something happens to throw everything out of whack again.

I am reasonably good at keeping an eye on my thinking. I am willing and able to take full responsibility for what I allow to happen between my ears. I keep my brain as free of negative thinking as I can without of course denying what I feel. According to the usual understanding of the mind/body connection, that should mean that my body also remains reasonably positive.

In my case it seems the mind/body connection operates back to front, more like the body/mind connection.  My body does what it wants to do and I have absolutely NO control over that. All I have control over is how I respond to my body's vagueries and what thoughts and feelings manifest as a result. 

My body makes up its own mind and my mind then follows suit. It feels like my body is the ocean and my mind is the boat.  I can learn to be as good a sailor as I possibly can but a sailor I remain. When I get really fed-up, I feel 'condemned' to never experience terra firma again. I soon get myself out of that negative frame of mind because fighting an ocean is a pretty fruitless and morale-destroying enterprise.

I often catch myself referring to the bipolar wave: when people ask me how I am doing, I hear myself say 'I am in the hollow of the wave' or 'I am on the crest of the wave'. It's amazing what we say without even thinking about it...

Don't get me wrong: I like the sea, its currents and its creatures but I also love trees. You don't see many trees growing in the middle of the earth's oceans (except on islands of course but then islands are terra firma).

A part of me longs to be like a tree with its solid underground roots matching its arial branches, with its seasons, with its quiet and yet magestic presence. The trouble with trees is that they are static. They don't roam the earth and they don't sail the seven seas either.

So it seems I am a creature of the human ocean whether I like it or not. Some people would tell me that as an Aquarian I shouldn't expect anything else! For me though living on a permanent ocean is hard. I need constant vigilance to keep an eye on the winds, the currents, and the state of my boat. This is demanding work. What most people take for granted takes a lot of energy for me. In fact staying in one place can be as exhausting as travelling a distance, sometimes even more so.

I talk about living in Bi-Polar Land but perhaps I should talk instead about living on the Bi-Polar Sea where the most we can achieve in terms of stability is not growing roots but occasionally throwing anchor  :D

Changing Body/Changing Mind

Hi Gbrielle


Living the way that you do,it is essential that in throwing out the anchor that you have the other end of the rope/chain firmly anchored to a home base, from which you may swing at ease as the tides ebb and flow around you.

Stay well,

Love, JC

Thank you JC

Your comment is spot on and that is exactly what I aim to achieve.

BIG Love

G xxxxxxx

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