Back to Blogging

I have recently returned from a convalescence break in France where my parents (yes, I am lucky to still have my mother and my father) spoiled me rotten, not to mention my sister-in-law who is so generous with me I can hardly believe it. On top of all that, I also managed to see my beloved brother (who travels a lot so he is hard to catch) and my two treasured nephews. Lovely, lovely, lovely!

I worried quite a bit before I left for France about what I would be like while I was away. I didn't want to feel totally washed out, I didn't want to worry my parents even more than they already worry, I didn't want to miss out, I didn't want to spend my holiday in bed or stuck in an armchair for most of the day. There was a lot of 'I don't want' and I found it difficult to articulate any 'I want'. Me, negative? Surely not!  Well, yes, I am negative if I don't watch it - and even if I do watch it!

One thing this experience has taught me to accept (I am tempted to say "that this illness has forced me to experience") is the immediacy of my feelings. I feel fragile as a result but I also feel that I do not absorb and accumulate so-called negative feelings until they build into an unconscious back-breaking emotional weight. I feel what I feel (anxiety, fear, discouragement, frustration, etc) at the time it feels me. My as yet fragile energy precludes me from reacting strongly: it is as if I now operated like an open filter rather than as a stone wall. I let things affect me (I have no choice) and they travel through me instead of coalescing unacknowledged. I feel very fragile, quick to tears and exhaustion at the time something hits me, and yet somehow clean inside and peaceful afterwards. I have a sense I am learning a new kind of strength.

This reminds of a well-known fable written by *La Fontaine: 'Le Chêne et le Roseau' (The Oak Tree and the Reed).  The oak tree is very proud of its strength and  looks down on the feeble reed until the day a huge storm erupts and the fierce wind hits them both relentlessly. The feeble reed bends and bends offering little resistance to the wind but the strong oak tree gets uprooted before the storm subsides. I am discovering that there is a lot to be said for being reed-like, even if it doesn't come naturally. Not yet anyway.

My little French break went very well precisely because I was reed-like. I went walk-about one day and I rested the next, bending one way and then another. I did not force anything and enjoyed whatever was, when and as it was. My parents' profound understanding of my illess (from my father's own painful experience over the years) was a huge contributory factor in making easy for me to go with my flow, when flow there was.

When I got back, I felt refreshed and optimistic for a few days. Then I was hit by a big dip in energy that immobilised me for another few days. Bending one way and then another. The most challenging aspect of my being reed-like is still my need to understand why the wind blows, one day like a gentle breeze and the next like a gale. My father is a meteorologist (or was before his retirement - he is 81 now) so I know it is possible to explain why the wind moves the way it does by studying the earth's atmosphere. I also know it is impossible to eradicate the wind - it always is.

Ultimately, on the ground, what really matters is knowing how to deal with the wind, how to use it, how to protect oneself from it if necessary. I once likened bi-polarism to being in a little boat battered in a fierce sea storm, and so it is for me. No wind at all is great and restful but it doesn't get you anywhere. Learning to respect the wind, as both a powerful ally and a fierce ennemy might well be what is needed to sail this life.

Being like a reed on terra firma and like skilful a sailor on the seas - that's a lot for little me to grasp and master ....  but I am learning :0)

* Jean de La Fontaine was a famous French fabulist and probably the most widely read French poet of the 17th century.


I wish I am as good as you in writing. I'll make it a career. - Nova Publishers

I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article. I am hoping the same best work from you in the future as well. In fact your creative writing abilities has inspired me to start my own BlogEngine blog now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings rapidly. Your write up is a fine example of it.

I liked the way you expressed

I liked the way you expressed your experience and feeling when meet your family. As you said it is really great feeling when we meet our family after long time, i agree with it and i have written many best essays also on this. This post has very good relationship meaning in it which shows the true love of you towards your family members and how much you feel for them.

Shareit is one of popular app

Shareit is one of popular app for PC,Laptop,Windows and Android phone and currently one of best file transfer applications.
shareit for windows

tutuapp for ios

Tutuapp is the best iOS, helper available on the internet

Are you waiting for AP Inter Results 2017? You visit the right place to know the information of Intermediate Results

The Central Board of

The Central Board of Secondary Education (CBSE) Class X examination was scrapped in and replaced with the current Continuous and Comprehensive Evaluation (CCE) that provides for tests and grading through the year as a means to reduce pressure on students.

The Central Board of

The Central Board of Secondary Education (CBSE) Class X examination was scrapped in and replaced with the current Continuous and Comprehensive Evaluation (CCE) that provides for tests and grading through the year as a means to reduce pressure on students.

Download crack softwares

This is Very Nice Post Fantastic material and amazing article.I most want to say that you are doing a great job.Thanks for this nice article.

Maharashtra Board Results

The notification for the Maharashtra Board HSC 12th Results Notification is eagerly awaited by lakhs of students who appeared for the board exam in the month of March. It is advised that students awaiting their MSBSHSE Class 12 HSC exams can check the updates at official website. around 11 am.

windows 8 activator

Very nice article thanks for share this.i really appreciate this.

Rechargeable lantern

Thanks for such a great post and the review......

cards against humanity

Thanks for such a great post and the review....

Home Page

I am very comfortable and pleased to come here. Thank you very much.

Great Post

nice post thanks for sharing

Amazing Post

i like your post thanks for sharing

Excellent and nice article.

Excellent and nice article. when user want to get important information then visit our site.


Great tips and very easy to understand. This will definitely be very useful for me when I get a chance to start my blog.

Regards for sharing your good websites


I Like You Post Keep It UP

Nice post

You ought to take part in a contest for one of the best blogs on the internet. I am going to highly recommend this website!

best post

I think this is one of the most significant info for me. And i'm glad reading your article. But should remark on some general things, The website style is great, the articles is really nice : D. Good job, cheers
best soe vps

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.