Gabrielle laughing out loud

Throughout the last two years, I have learnt (if I didn't already know it) that to try and distract yourself from deep depression doesn't work. 'Oh look at the lovely sky or think of something nice' doesn't help when you are held in the claws of deep clinical depression. That would be like putting disinfectant onto a leper's skin to make him or her feel better. Waste of time... AND somewhat insulting too.

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Gabrielle surrounded by dark voices

I woke up this morning with very dark thoughts populating my head: thoughts of hopelessness and self-destruction. They go something like this:

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Gabrielle smiling in profile

I am in a strange mood today.  There should be nothing unusual there since, officially, I suffer from a 'mood disorder' and I guess that should mean I experience 'strange' moods on a regular basis.

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Gabrielle's worried stressed eyes

Hello! Your friendly neighbourhood psychotic here :0). I am still feeling the aftershock of last Sunday's PE. In this case, I mean feeling psychologically and emotionally, more than feeling physically.

What am I feeling? Quite a powerful mixture:

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Gabrielle looking surprised facing forward

I have just read an Email from an old coaching friend of mine.  When I say 'old', I don't mean she is elderly - I mean she has known me for a long time :0).

She picked up on a couple of things I have previously written in my blog, "joining the dots" as she so cleverly put it:

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Gabrielle underneath a rain co

Why do I always find it so difficult to cry when I feel very low? What is stopping me from letting the tears flow?

As I let myself ponder these questions, a few thoughts are making their appearance thus:

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