Gabrielle running away like mad

I have been looking at blogs/social sites that are dedicated to depression to see what others write about it and to learn from them.

For most of those blogs/social sites, I read repetitive entries from the same people over and over again and I am ready to go and slash my wrists. My energy collapses and I feel 'depressed' in the every day sense of the word.

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Gabrielle's Light Bulb

My friend JC suggested that I use an old army 'trick' to give me a visual representation of the fluctuations I go through - in his soldiering days, JC was used to seeing troops use such a visual representation known as The Readiness Wheel. 

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Gabrielle tearing her hair out

The last  few days can be viewed as a total disaster or as a bit of a joke. It depends on how I am able to think and feel about it.

I leave you to judge for yourself.

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Gabrielle confused

Oh boy... the last few days have been tough. A continuing cycle of exhaustion and agitation, constant tearfulness, discouragement, desolation - in short, everything bi-polarism has to offer in one concentrated package! 

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Gabrielle teaching with pointed finger

I don't know how you feel about it but I have felt overwhelmed and somewhat intimidated by all the technological innovations that are about these days: wiki, twitter, RSS, to name but a few. What is all that stuff ?!? Well, salvation is at hand.

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Gabrielle looking windswept and fed up

When I have a chat with people who know what has happened to me over the past three years and I ask them how they are, they tend to respond by telling me apologetically that whatever troubles they have encountered or difficulties they have experienced are nothing (their emphasis not mine) compared to what I have gone through myself. It is as if their suffering wasn't worth anything.

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Gabrielle asleep pushing Zs

Yesterday, at about 5.00pm, I ran out of steam. I reached the point where I could do nothing else but rest.  I needed to recharge my battery.

I'd had a good day up unto that point so I did not feel too badly about feeling like 'somebody' had pulled some hidden internal plug and knowing that I had reached the empty reading on my internal dial. I did feel annoyed about one thing though and I took my irritation to bed with me.

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Gabrielle yelling at the telephone

As I was lying in bed stroking my cat, I started thinking. That's always a dangerous thing for me to be doing :0).

For some reason, I thought of our human society and how our social systems exist mainly for one purpose: to Contain and Control. I could put it this way:

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