Blogs

I cannot resist introducing you all to Lilly as her Daddy drew her. I told you she was a big presence for a two week old little person! I adore this cartoon. Thank you Greg.

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An interesting thing is happening to me at the moment: having felt physically exhausted for a good long while, and although my physical energy is low, my brain is packed full of things I want to say. This is classic bi-polar, of course, and the medical literature refers to this as the 'racing mind'. Or is it?

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I love the above emoticon my son drew for me for two reasons:

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"Being an orchestral musician means you have to express yourself to the utmost while simultaneously listening and responding. That's an important skill for conflict resolution - and for life". So speaks Daniel Barenboim.

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For some reason, I felt attracted to re-read 'Ask and It Is Given' by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Those of you who are familiar with these authors' work on The Law of Attraction will recognise the irony in my statement :0)

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Having just come back from a lovely pub lunch with my hubby, I was struck by a thought: change was something I had always made numerous assumptions about. This sudden 'revelation' led me to explore the change territory further.

This is what I had hitherto assumed about change:

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Last night I forgot to take my medication. That's a rare occurrence and, as a result, I found myself fully awake at 2.00pm. I knew something wasn't quite right because I didn't have my familiar 'drugged' feeling. I didn't feel woozy and I could move without stumbling about like a drunk person. I got out of bed and walked down our two flights of stairs to the kitchen to correct my 'mistake' and take my tablets. Suddenly, something struck me: the house was dark and quiet.

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Let me be honest here: I often feel frustrated by all the things I can no longer do. I feel like a useless lump on a regular basis and I catch myself getting on my own nerves more often than I care to admit.  Having said that, there is humour in every situation and I am amused by the new standards I have been forced to adopt.

My new yardstick for achievement isn't what it used to be, that's for sure!

These days, I feel I have something to be really proud of if:

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My counsellor J has just started studying for a qualification in CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. My psychiatrist has referred me for CBT so I am very interested in it, both from a personal perspective and from a professional one. There is a very long waiting list for CBT within psychiatric care so this is yet another good opportunity for me to exercise patience...

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